Squirrels on North American college and university campuses have been the subject of much animated conversation in informal venues, but a systematic assessment of their distribution across this habitat type has not been undertaken until now. We collected reports of squirrel species' presence and absence from faculty experts at 536 campuses in Canada and the continental United States, and found that squirrels are nearly ubiquitous on campuses (95% had at least one species, and 40% had three or more), but that only a select few species are common campus residents. Foremost among these is the eastern gray squirrel (Sciurus carolinensis—on 62% of surveyed campuses), followed by the eastern fox squirrel (Sciurus niger), eastern chipmunk (Tamias striatus), North American red squirrel (Tamiasciurus hudsonicus), and woodchuck (Marmota monax). Eastern gray and fox squirrels partition campuses with one another, both in their shared native/core range and on the West Coast. While these invasive eastern species are present on campuses on the West Coast, notably, contingency analysis did not provide evidence that they are the primary factor discouraging western gray squirrels (Sciurus griseus) from using these habitats. The inventory and analyses presented here can provide a basis for longitudinal studies both within and across campuses and may be productively combined with initiatives that involve students in research.